


Djibouti

by MistressofMimics



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Aliens, Complete, Dialogue Heavy, Humans, Implied Slash, Innuendo, Loki: Where Mischief Lies - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, The Author Regrets Nothing, Theoki, bad humour, pubs, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29469141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressofMimics/pseuds/MistressofMimics
Summary: In which Loki learns about pirates and booty.
Relationships: Jack Sparrow/Cutler Beckett, Theodore "Theo" Bell/Loki
Kudos: 6





	Djibouti

Theo's cane caught on the side of the doorframe and he stumbled out of the pub. 

Loki's arms wrapped around his shoulders, kept him upright. "How are you this drunk? You only had two drinks."

"Yeah, but I'm a little, just a little drunk. You're a friggin' lamp post, you are." He wrapped an arm around Loki's waist, well, perhaps tried was a better term. "Hehe, booty."

"Wot? Yes, you have one too. Let's get you home."

His head spun and he leaned heavily on Loki as the Prince started walking. "You know, the folktales say Captain Jack Sparrow was such an awful pirate that he wrecked a ship everywhere he went. If he did, that means he crashed a ship off Djibouti. Loki, I want to see Djibouti. Can you take me?" God, he really was drunk, wasn't he? No way would he ever have said something that salacious sober.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. "You're drunk, Theo, we are not going anywhere near something that has 'rear end' in its name. I also have no idea where it is. Who was this Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Fog rolled in off the Thames making the lamp post globes glitter like rainbows. Theo admired them for a moment then muttered, "No one really knows, but he had this whole love-hate relationship with Lord Admiral Beckett of the East India Trading Company where he'd help him then betray him then help him and betray him again. Even after all that, Beckett still offered him a Letter of Marque, which would've legalized his, hehe, booty grabbing on behalf of England. No one wants to admit that they might've maybe been beaus once because that'd make them both abominations unto God."

"Primitive bilge snipe shit. No amount of consenting non-related individuals should be considered an abomination. I mean, how the Hel do they think Heimdall got the name Nine-mothers? Heimdall's father had a senior wife and eight juniour wives all at once. Mind, he was the last recorded to have so many, but the point remains."

"Are we almost home?" The two pints he'd drunk were starting to make him very sleepy. "I, hmm, can't even see my feet any more. Can you see anything?"

"Yes, we're almost home, just a few more blocks. Whoa, careful. Maybe I should just carry you so you don't hit your head on something." Loki swept him off his feet into a bridal carry and he instinctively snuggled against Loki's shoulder.

"Mmm, you smell good."

"I try to. Is there anything else you want to say before you fall asleep on me?"

"Nice booty, Your Highness."

The last thing he heard Loki say before sleep claimed him was a mock serious, "Mortals."

In his subsequent dream, Loki cut an incredibly dashing figure as a pirate. 


End file.
